perspective.

i basically went into work yesterday morning only to learn the company was closing up shop. we all got a "sorry" and two weeks pay. the truth is, i honestly felt worse for her than i did for myself. the only thing i was really losing was "entry level into the industry" she was losing 8 years and thousands of dollars. 

considering all the times she lashed out at me, almost made me cry, and basically called me stupid without saying the word- i still really felt awful for her. i knew that i frustrated her, not because i actually am stupid, but because she is too antiquated to understand my approach. or even the industry's current/modern approach for that matter. i would rather be young and stupid than to be trying to play catch-up with the only world i have ever known. 

i'm sure she will find her way. 

i paid my dues for the last year with more than my time. i knew the day would come where i would have to give "my first professional two-weeks notice". i always dreaded thinking about how to let someone down. i don't like letting people down. i also can't really grasp that people don't really care, and at "entry level", you are highly replaceable. i am very aware of my worth as a human being so i have always had trouble understanding how disposable i could be to others'. there was a time when i walked in every morning wondering if she would have one of her emotional swings and fire me. i pushed through it but none of that really matters now. 

i've collected a treasure chest full of resentment and questions for her. but i am happy to say i've buried it in a secret spot in central park with no X's marking any spots in sight. it's done now. and she doesn't have the power to make me question myself on an almost daily basis. i like me. 

i could never stay mad or hold a grudge. because the truth is deep down i just felt bad for her . she has definitely paid me in full by letting me go. being unaware of tomorrow is an exhilarating experience. 

i am basking in knowing that i did nothing wrong, got paid, and am free to frolic as i please into new territories. the most important aspect to remember in this new freedom is trust. i trust that my new chapter is being fluffed by fate's housekeeping and awaiting my arrival. here's to mints on my pillow and a brand new paycheck that is actually worthy of my talent's. 

xx,

bimbinha

this is what schlepping our hearts around should be like. transparent and with only our daily needs. it leaves less room for all the ugly. 

xx,

 bimbinha

happy monday. 

just a little reminder to help keep the week's spirit light. 

here's to progress + positivity.

xx,

bimbinha 

it seems as though everywhere i turn lately, Ms.Le-Tan finds me.

 i just recently discovered this french treasure and am completely smitten. 

                sexy should always be smart. and what better way to tote your brightest red rouge

                  than in your favorite book? always be multi-dimensional and dynamic ladies.

                                                        meet my new irresistible girl crush.

xx,

 bimbinha

know your role. 

eternal intern on the inside.